today has been a tough day.

i didnt drink but i had a lot of carbs and i have a headache, which i havent had in a while.

i found my sketchbook and drew the characters from chiikawa. that's been the main event of my day is watching new episodes of chiikawa. i love how supportive hachiware is of chiikawa, even when chii-chan fails the weeding exam, and how much they care about each other even when confronting scary situations.

i saw that there's a new store opening up at the mall a town over called eloise collections. it's a store that sells blind boxes and plushies, i'm gonna go and see if they have any chiikawa stuff. there's also a store nearby called super go that also sells asian goods, hopefully i'll be able to make it when they open september 12th.

i was gonna go to the camera store and drop off some film, also to pick up my badge, but i didn't. my mom twisted her ankle and i stayed home with her.

i want to use my sketchbook more often, it'd be nice to draw things regularly without having any negative beliefs about my work. i need to heal my fear of me and my work being seen.

man i can't believe i'm almost 30 and the highlight of my life is watching chiikawa. i am pretty cyclical i guess. when i was really depressed as a teen, my comfort show was this cute kids show called sarah and duck. everything else falls away, but i have to be okay with myself. and these little creatures make feel better about myself.

i got a text from the guy i was subleasing in april about his roommate not re-signing. right as i was thinking, as i usually do, about moving to nyc i see the text. but i can't it's not good timing, there's so much i still have to do at the monastery, but i did think about it. i love inwood and being so close to kay... but i don't think i can right now. and that's painful to have to admit but like i said. everything else can fall away, but i have to be okay with myself.