went to pick up my badge but it wasn’t fucking there! so frustrating! this is why it’s so hard to leave the house rn: it’s 92° and the buses are really inaccessible, they come like once an hour or every 30 mins. but this is another reason why i question whether i should actually move to nyc: i almost had a heatstroke inside the 47-50th st station because it was so fucking hot, and i had already crossed the very hot area where the Dominican day parade was being held (this is relevant bc the cops made us stand under the hot sun for a good five minutes until we could cross the avenue to get to the station).

everytime i walked into a subway station i instantly regretted my life. whether i'm here or there i'm still going to suffer. i really hope that mamdani can actually help make the stations cooler with that apparently quite-possible-thermodynamic plan to cool the stations

after i didn’t get my badge i just went to get some fast food.

usually i’m not really excited about eating fast food because it’s carb heavy and you’re giving money to corporations but i guess i was inspired by how Chiikawa and Hachiware find pleasure in the small things

i did end up going to CVS and picking up my meds, so i guess i was a little productive.

i started watching some fashion videos on my bus ride home though. one was about hasan piker's fashion choices and the other one was about finding your own personal style. then inevitably was recommended a bunch of other videos that were interesting and got overwhelmed.

i think that’s what it comes down to: i don’t want to consume more than i produce. "copy copy copy". but that’s not what’s happening, i’m just putting sticky notes on the references and not doing anything with them.

there's so much i want to do: i want to play guitar, i want to redo my website, i want to clean my room. i need to stop wasting time and grow the fuck up