Your typical town involved in a typical daydream, Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings

I am going through things you can’t even imagine in places you can’t even pronounce Put out that video ironically at the same time i lost access to my phone through a freak accident— to clarify: i had physical access to my phone but no way to access its contents. I called everyone i could and they all told (i know stupid, i like learning my lessons the hard way) i was in literal tears at the idea of losing 14,000 photos: photos and videos of family, friends, NYC, Asheville, Boone, SotA, Hawaii, PR etc etc For all the times ive visited Boone I’ve actually never been on App State’s campus. I’ve never actually been to a class at state this is the closest I’ve ever been to a class. Most of the kids have to be like 17 or at least they express themselves that way. Everybody hates me but I push people away. I get the feeling that these kids have no ideas. It’s so much about substance than shaping the form The government is just private military, private intelligence and private security for the richest No one ever really reads my zines, it’s more of a transactional thing like: I am trying to be nice so here’s my shitty zine. She was very nice and invited me to FLUKE in Athens, and I’m kicking myself because I literally thought of applying but ended up not doing so… Estaba bonito y entonces se puso feo. Is la choli indoors These are some of the most normie audiences spectrum is the most busted venue they’re fucking playing Elvis? I’m not the kind of person who finds comfort in routine, instead i find it claustrophobic after a while. I can’t even remember or recall being that young. Have you learned anything from your characters. Part of the work that is to come that we all have to be part of… Am I gonna go back to the Eleanor Davis’ favorite food is sushi. Maybe it would’ve been nice to The reason why i am able to hold my head up high is because I believe that there is a solution, if you have the drive and the knowledge— but what if that’s not true? I always think, if we could connect the most passionate and knowledgeable people we could find a way to say free Palestine or hell free US, get out of this tyrannical exploitative system. But if that’s not the truth? You go as far as you can go but it doesn’t matter there is nothing at the end of the road. People do not really fuck with me like that. I know this is not a normal conclusion to arrive to but the idea of never seeing these photos hurts me so much. Maybe i didn’t go as far as i could go but i went as far as i could imagine going with the resources i have at my disposable and the knowledge i have of the world. I found no satisfying answers. This trip didn’t feel as enlightening as the previous I am glad I went but it was very quick just to see Eleanor and let her impart some sorely needed wisdom on me. Send zine to crystal. Write some poems. I bought her book It’s basically a travelogue without calling it one. Filled with real and brazen truths. There are stakes to the shit we do, and we need to act like it and I think thats why Eleanor’s work has really hit a nerve. I don’t think many people give a fuck about my shitty zine but I make them because they matter to me. The unthinkable has occurred and I am devastated (I’m being dramatic but thats just kind of how I am) I lost a lot of my photos and access to my phone and I’ve been really sad about it honestly. Anyways it’ll probably end up in a zine/cómic but for now I’ll leave it at that. I’ve probably said this before but, I really do believe nothing truly bad can ever happen to a writer Soda shoppe April launch I can’t give up on my dreams but then again what are they? I’d like to stay in the country I’m here looking at the Bradford pears. Drinking my Miller lite. I know the conservative Latino mom with a baby in her hand probably thinks I’m an evil person that needs to be exterminated especially while I’m listening to a comedy podcast through my headphones laughing as loud as I possibly can. It’s all a matter of perception I guess. I’m still super upset about my photos being gone. I have not erased my phone but it’s been locked for three days now. I found my old phone and am thinking of moving my sim to it while I figure out what to do. One part of me is like, it’s okay I can make new memories, take new photos and videos. But then I remember a moment that would be gone: smiling at the beach, Valentine’s Day selfie, my brother and I at the lantern festival, Lily in her kitchen she will soon move away from and I simply cannot bare the idea of losing them. I feel bad not listening to all the old school technologists— I sacrificed my digital autonomy for comfort and convenience and now I feel really fucking stupid. I didn’t get home till like 6am trying to finish the zine for Eleanor Davis, I packed my shit and ate some food my mom had left for me. Then I had to be at the bus by 8am Eleanor talks about real shit. I appreciate that so much because most people are pulling fluff out of thin air and calling it moonrock. It’s not physically damaged, run over by a car or even fallen into water. hell i dropped my g7xii into crabtree falls on accident and was still able to get my photos out of the sd card. It was just incredible that there was no way for me to do so… Sometimes (actually most times) you watch a film and don’t judge it for it’s quality as art but simply for it’s ability to comfort or challenge you in the ways you need be in the moment you are simply situated in. This is the context in which i am watching Harry Potter a series I do not have strong opinions on Most of the kids seem to struggle with how creativity works. They see me give a zine to Eleanor Davis and ask “is that your zine?” Of course it is, it’s not good etiquette to give a stranger someone else’s zine— I mean they’re so personal how would you even know? I went to the Appalachia Cookie Company, I’d heard so much about it but this was the first time id figured where exactly it was. I go to Lilys just to check the vibes but i feel tired and don’t want to hang out the entire night. I though tonight would be It starts snowing. Everyone in the bar starts to look outside. It was just 60 degrees now it’s fucking snowing someone said. There is no one in my life who can give me advice. No one who is close enough that I can talk to. There’s simply people who I know and give me well meaning damn that’s rough’s and i hope you can figure it out’s. Not a single soul with the tools to help me. Not forever. Like a time capsule. It is the nature of these things. One day an iPhone 14 Pro on IOS 17 will be like looking through slide film, these god blessed hackers will have figured it out. And I will spit on Tim Cook’s grave. I am a patient boy. $3 for a 12 oz of SODA? How to whiten shoes Lilly and I are women with a lot of the same similarities.